Saturday, December 15, 2012

A Celebration Dampened by Tragedy

I awoke Friday morning eager to celebrate my first year of Alan's Italy. It was hard to believe that the project that started on December 9 as a pilot, but really began the next Friday, December 16 as a live broadcast, had been repeated 43 additional times, and blossomed into a whole enterprise (not for profit, of course) which has included lectures, books, and some minor acclaim. I had my car repaired, spend two hours at the Y, walking two miles and swimming laps, and then came home to hone the final design of the show. I sat in my den as I reviewed the slide show I had prepared highlighting the most beautiful and meaningful photos I had shown during the previous year. I modified the choice of my favorite videos we had taken since 2006 when we first started to use digital photography, and then was satisfied that I had a show which I wanted.

A few minutes later my friend texted me about the terrible tragedy that had occurred in Conn, and I turned on the TV to witness the unspeakable and unimaginable horror that had befallen citizens of this country. It is almost impossible to imagine the thought of sending your child to school, and having them murdered by a madman. As a father and grandfather I can empathize, but really as my mother told me when her daughter, my sister, in 1981 was killed in a car accident, "Alan, there is no feeling that even comes close to the overwhelming sadness that overcomes a parent when they lose a child." I was riveted to the TV for about an hour, but could not stop tearing up, so after a while I turned off the Television.

I had in this space originally a paragraph on how I thought schools throughout this country could prevent violence, but then changed my mind about voicing my opinion about a topic about which I am hardly an expert. About 4 or 5 people may have read it, and I honestly feel better about dealing with this national tragedy by letting the professionals advise. I apologize to those people for voicing my opinion about such a calamity. I think I will stick to opinions about Italy and my own issues with my TV show. I do believe that the United States has to come to grips with this problem happening way too often.

Please tune in to the show or Youtube next week for what is so far planned to be a study of the sculpture of Marino Marini as found in the wonderful museum in Florence which honors his outstanding work, and/or to this blog for further reflections on Alan's Italy.




Saturday, December 8, 2012

Sigh, Almost Perfect (except for several errors)

During the week prior to doing a show I put together the entire presentation on Monday at the latest, and it is assumed that throughout the coming week, I will be altering a variety of aspects. I also check spelling of names and places and dates trying my very best to be perfect. This previous week was no different, as I combed through everything working diligently. On Friday evening, I arrived at the studio very early, about 4:15 and Ellen and I set up everything, and did the various sound checks, lighting arrangements, and made sure everything was ready. Then I took a 10 minute nap, and at about 4:55 went back to the table checked a few things on my computer, and proclaimed to Ellen that I was ready and just await her word and we will be on our way yet again, for the 44th time. We did everything and I launched into a show that I had been planning and looking forward to for months. I love the churches of Florence. Ever since my first visit in 1992 I have been studying the art in just about all the churches but with an eye to 3 of them, Ognissanti, Santa Trinita and Santa Maria Novella. I have never been to Florence and not visited those three. I know quite a bit about them, and also continued to do some research the week before. One of the reasons I love these so much and have spent so much time there is that they display the art of Domenico Ghirlandaio in situ, that is in the spot they were created. The chapels he had adorned are among the most amazing in the world. The Tournabuoni in Santa Maria Novella, and Sassetti in Santa Trinita are unbelievable in their realism, linear perspective, and color. I have studied Ghirlandaio for years and have a giant book about his life and work. As I indicate on the show I love the story told by Irving Stone in the Agony and the Ecstasy of how Ghirlandaio gave Michelangelo his start in the year 1488. When I began to do the show I just knew it was going to be amazing, and the only problem I could foresee was to temper my enthusiasm or else I might lose my concentration. As I performed the show, I was about as excited as I have ever been, and even during the show said to myself, this is just going to be the best show ever. Then as I viewed the slide showing the famous self portrait of Ghirlandaio with the dates of life indicated at the bottom, I realized that instead of indicating "1449 - 1494" I had printed "1949 - 1494". (Incidentally look at those numbers !!!)I felt like crawling under the table and never coming out. I was so angry with myself, that it was all I could do maintain my calm as I plowed through the next few minutes. That's what happens when you do a live show; there is absolutely no room for error. I didn't cave in, but carried on very well, much better than I thought I would. A year ago, I would sat there wondering why I did this project of Alan's Italy at all, probably telling the audience what a dunce I was. I indicated on this show that it was an error indicating some consternation, but then I was fine.

As I was reviewing the uploaded version to Youtube, I realized that I had made even more mistakes. I refer to the special anniversary show as being shown on Dec 7 instead of Dec 14. I also referred to the long part of the church as the "apse" instead of as the "nave". Perfection and I have not yet met and probably never will. Ah the essence of the live show !!!!

As my readers have already realized, although I have an outstanding life with excellent health, life is indeed a challenge for me. Nothing has or ever has for that matter come easily. Some of this has been revealed here in my blogs, and some in my two books. My third book also talks about that. I struggle with just about everything, good or bad, and continually fight myself amid my proclivity for being anything but perfect. Most friends and family have told me that it is impossible to be perfect for anyone, not just me. Why I even try to be so is a mystery to me. Nonetheless I carry on, do well, at least as I suspect people think of me, and as I have indicated, manage to somehow entertain and interest people with my passion for Italy. And of course thank you so much for putting up with me and reading these blogs. Next week, Dec 14, I will celebrate the one year anniversary of Alan's Italy with a special retrospective slide show and some never before seen videos of my travels. I hope you tune in to take a look. On December 21 I start my second year with Ric Hirst narrating a show on the very underrated and largely unknown artist Marino Marini.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

BP and AP - Before Panic and After Panic

I just read an article in Time Magazine which discussed the Obama/Romney campaign, before the first debate and after. Before the debate Obama had a 3.3 % lead in the popular vote and after Romney had pulled out in front, indicating the concept as BD and AD (Before Denver - the location of the debate - and After Denver). I admit my show does not carry as much prestige as a national presidential debate for example 65 million people watched the first debate and perhaps 65 people watch my show live at 5 PM on Woodstock Public Access Television (actually there is not way to tell, but I keep hearing about more and people who apparently watch it live). Of course many more people watch Alan's Italy on the "carousel" a device used by the TV station to broadcast the show as a repeat - as many as 19 times during the week- two weeks after the live broadcast. Then, of course, probably about 125 people watch me on Youtube each week.

Nonetheless, an event occurred on my show at about 5:35 PM slightly more than half way through which replicated the concept of Before and After. In this case it was that I sort of had a very minor "panic attack." I suffer from anxiety disorder and have had a number of anxiety or panic attacks over the course of my life, but deal with chronic anxiety regularly. To me it makes the idea of doing a weekly TV show live an even more amazing feat, but I have never let my problems prevent me from realizing my dreams and goals (as I talk a lot about in my second book and I indicated to a minor degree in my previous blog). I even spent my professional life as an assistant principal, which obviously necessitated conducting meetings, lecturing, and making speeches before sometimes hundreds of people. Ok, so here I am between 5 and 5:35 completely relaxed, "strolling" through the piazzas of Florence having a great time reliving experiences I had there over the past 20 years. Then at 5:35 I glanced at the clock and realized I had only about 15 minutes to do perhaps 30 minutes of show. Although most people probably didn't notice, perhaps nobody did, from that point on I started to make more mistakes and forget things I know normally on the tip of my fingers, so to speak. BP (P = Panic) I remembered everything I had reviewed about the show, names of places, years, dates, people, and AP I could not remember things that I would never forget. For example when I got to the Piazza Santa Maria Novella, one of my favorite 3 piazzas, and one on which I have spent perhaps 100 hours, and know every nook and cranny, I forgot the name of the hotel right at the crease between the cloister of the Church of Santa Maria Novella, and the spot where the commercial enterprises begin. The hotel, which every Florentinophile knows is, of course, the Hotel Minerva. When I got to the Piazza Italiana dell'Unita I forgot both hotels, the Majestic and one of the most well known hotels in Florence, the Hotel Baglioni. When I got to the Piazza Cestello, I referred to the church as the Church of Cestello instead the actual name Church of San Frediano in Cestello, a church I have stared at from my balcony at my hotel on via della Scala, Hotel Croce di Malta for years as I sit there staring at the southern view of Florence. I can go on and on, but the point is that before 5:35 and after that, the show changed and I was a different person, although as I watched it closely a few minutes ago don't see how anyone would have noticed a difference, except that I was obviously rushing, but from my face and manner there was no noticeable difference. Someone who knows Florence may have noticed something, but otherwise my problem was, duh, in my head, as it always it.

So here was a peek into the mind of Alan, and at my age who cares who knows. In fact perhaps those people who have experienced anxiety know what I am taking about. A variety of things happen when a person is undergoing an anxiety attack, and for each person it is different. For me it is forgetting things, but much worse than that is getting nervous about forgetting things - in fact what psychologists call "fear of fear." Then there are two problems that manifest itself, the problem itself and the fear of the problem. From 5:35 until the show ended at 6, I fought through it, which is good news for me, because knowing that it is not debilitating is a big plus. Experience is the best teacher, so for everyone who experiences anxiety, maybe this story will be helpful. As always, thanks for reading or graze per la lettura.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Book writing and other horrors

I have never been that successful in any endeavor in which I ever engaged, except perhaps teaching and supervising mathematics, my professional career for 41 years. I have always considered myself a "6" on the scale of 1 to 10 in everything I ever attempted such as swimming, guitar playing, TV production, and now book writing. Nonetheless, I never let that stop me from pursuing my dreams and goals. Even as a blogger I am a "6". Lately with these two books I have written, this is becoming more obvious to me. My two books are not great, really, except the second one is greater than than the first, maybe a "7". I do have a story to tell and can be interesting to listen to in conversation or in blogging (or hosting a TV show). I will just not let my limitations prevent my story from being told regardless of how imperfect I am as a writer of blogs, books, etc. Even my story might also be a "6" who knows. That being said I will now tell you how difficult it is to write a book. My goal in writing books first of all was to tell my story, but especially for my descendants to know who I was. My biggest frustration is not having known anything about my ancestors ! Even my own father and sometimes mother were a mystery to me. I will not let that happen for my grandchild, great grandchildren, or anyone else who might be interested to know who I was.

I am using the online publisher Xlibris as many of you know. They have been fairly wonderful, but the process has its limitations. For one thing, although they claim to provide editing services, they do not proofread to a large degree, especially names of people and places, and Italian words. Because of that my first book seems to have a few mistakes (as I have indicated here). Other than spelling Ric Hirst's name wrong, I apparently also misspelled the name of my friend and frequent guest on my show, Franc Palaia, the great artistic genius with whom I love talking. In the Table of Contents, no less, I spelled his first name, Frank. He also told me a few hours ago I also spelled the Biennale wrong (Bienale in the book). To me this is very bad, although in the long run, I meant no harm, only to laud those who have been kind to me and have had great impact on my life, and tell my story. Both gentlemen have been wonderful even though I botched their names, but that's probably why I love them as I do. In the second book, I have made those corrections, but who knows how many other errors are lurking. I have even made those corrections in the first book for yet another fee. Xlibris will publish your book and it will look professional. They will provide a lot of service for not that much cost, and many of their representatives are outstanding individuals. Some are not, however, that good at calling or e mailing back to me, although I must admit I ask for a lot from them usually. I would surely use them again, but with the understanding that it won't be the perfect process. They have even given me my own website (paid for actually), and even that has been a hassle. It is certainly for me better than writing a book and leaving it in a pile of papers somewhere in my house or on a computer, where someday nobody will know the story waiting to be told.

All that being said, I can tell you how difficult the book writing has been for me, reading, rereading, rereading again and again and again....., and suffering through a process that is very hard. Nonetheless, I have somehow managed to tell two of my stories in print, one out already and the other soon to be. I guarantee that the second book, Alan's Italy: My Personal Journey will not be perfect. I can guarantee that it will be a heartfelt, readable account of my experiences, truly honest, straightforward, and expressed from me to my readers with a sentimental and grateful slant. I have been to amazing places throughout Italy, and made wonderful friendships, and I believe those stories are very interesting. I have been a privileged person, and my only desire during my final years on the planet is to give back as much as I can to a world that has been very kind to me. I hope that anyone who reads my books forgives me for being imperfect, but can appreciate the story, the difficulty in telling it, and my sometimes poor judgement in revealing a really personal and intimate part of me that just yearns to be shared. Thanks again for reading.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Near disaster, an apology, & stunning creativity

At about 1 PM today as I began preparing for my show for 4 hrs hence, I suddenly realized that my cables were missing. Without them my show is non existent !! I was stunned and couldn't figure out where they were. At first I thought someone had stolen them, then realized that last Friday night with all the excitement of Ric being there, things being exchanged (books etc), and all the conversation and distraction that ensued, I must have left the cables in the studio. I panicked, called Ellen and dragged her out of her house to take me to the studio and see if we could find them. Eventually we did find them on the console, where she and I had left them 7 days earlier. We were very lucky. I wasn't even sure where and how I came by them over a year ago, when the show started. I came home, relaxed a while, grabbed something to eat, and then headed back to the studio to do the show, another disaster averted. I was angry with myself for being so careless with equipment that are absolutely essential and critical to my being able to do the TV show. How could I be so careless I kept telling myself, pointing a finger at myself for being so distracted whenever Ellen and I have a guest speaker to interview. Tonight I really concentrated, and have hopefully learned a lesson. I like my solo shows, when it's only Ellen and I quietly going about our business.

I started the show with an apology to Ric Hirst for constantly spelling his name incorrectly, Herst instead of Hirst. I indicated a lack of concentration, more evidence of my having way too much on my mind lately. I also spoke about the legend of the bull's testicles in the Milan Galleria; watch the show, Then Franc Palaia did the show I had been looking forward to for a long time, his Illuminated Photo Sculpture. His genius as an artist blows me away; he is so incredibly creative and imaginative it is amazing. The show was very smooth and I just watched about half of it. Franc is amazing and we will do Part 2 in a few weeks. We also spoke about two future shows for the winter and spring.

I also during the show revealed my still a bit unfinished website to my viewing audience. Although about 90 % finished, I just couldn't wait to show the link. I was notified by my publisher that my second book should get here in about 2 weeks. Cannot wait for that.

Buona notte.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Alan's Italy Website - www.alansitaly.com

My new website is now operational, and although not totally complete does serve the purpose of unifying links to all my various activities related to Alan's Italy. You will be able to go to that site and from there get to my two blogs (including this one), view my teaching activities, go to all the episodes of my TV show, and take a look at my books, Alan's Italy: The Birth of  Television Show and Alan's Italy: My Personal Journey. There will be also be links to the purchase of the books although the second one is not quite ready as yet. Eventually, probably in a few days, there will also be a summary of my current and impending events and activities that my audience might find interesting. The website also contains twelve favorite photos, all personally chosen by my photographer, Laura Gurton. The blog you are now reading will, however, continue to be the definitive guide to my inner feelings and thoughts about all aspects of the TV show. I welcome any and all current followers as well as anyone new to this blog to take a look, visit frequently, and as always, feel free to e mail me at Alansitaly@gmail.com with any comments or requesting travel advice. Tomorrow's show # 42 will focus on some well known views of Italy through the artistic and talented eyes of Franc Palaia in the most unusual presentation format I have ever seen. Please join us live at Woodstock Public Access Television or on Youtube.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

A Dedication, A Correction, and Ric's Magic

As I was preparing the show which would focus on the second part of the analysis of the Museum of the Duomo's great art in Florence, I decided to include a couple of items of note. First after I recalled that the Sistine Chapel was not actually completed on November 1, 1512 as I had implied the week before, only the ceiling, I showed the corrected slide indicating that fact. I used the opportunity to do a small history of the Sistine Chapel which was built earlier, in the 15th century. Then I decided, after watching the John Stewart TV show The Daily Show a few hours earlier to include a dedication to the President of the USA, which was not newly elected to his second term, Barack Obama, but Nate Silver whose statistical analysis of the recent election was perfect. USA, in this case, stood for United States of Arithmetic noting the fact that his calculations were quite simple in relation to many of the more accepted prognosticators. Nate Silver has now predicted correctly two presidential elections in a row, 2008, and 2012, with stunning accuracy. Then we proceeded to do the show, Alan's Italy Show # 41, in which Ric focussed on several of my favorite sculptures at this great museum right behind the incredible Cathedral. I was really looking forward to hearing his analysis of Donatello's Mary Magdalene and  il Zuccone, and the highlight of the museum, Michelangelo's Deposition. His narrative were, of course, outstanding, interesting, and fun. I hope the audience derived as much enjoyment as I did. Ric is scheduled for many more appearances in the future analyzing the work of Marino Marini,  helping me narrate the Lazio towns of Viterbo and Tuscania, and doing several more shows to be named later. Ric is absolutely amazing in his ability to analyze great art.

The course I was teaching at the Lifespring Saugerties Program ended this past week after the abbreviated five sessions rather than the scheduled six due to storms. I had to end with Tuscany rather than continue down to Rome for the finale. I asked to return next Fall to continue with Rome, Umbria, Campania, Lazio, perhaps some more Tuscany or switching gears and focusing on Great Piazzas of Italy and also Great Churches. I have not heard as yet as the Curriculum Committee must decide who is selected as Presenters. It was fun presenting to "real" people instead of talking to a camera as I do each week on my show. Meanwhile I will start to prepare for my presentation in the New Paltz Lifetime Learning Program (eight classes instead of six) which starts in mid March, and the two library forums I will be doing in Woodstock and Saugerties in February. I am waiting for the editing process of my second book, Alan's Italy: My Personal Journey to be completed, and publication to begin, before the two forums.

In the meantime my new website, www.alansitaly.com, will debut hopefully on Monday, November 12 if the promise one of my book representatives gave me last week comes to pass. The website simply unifies all of my projects in one easy to reach place. On the "News Page" will be located links to all my projects: teaching, forums, blogs, and Youtube site, Alan's Italy Channel. It will also have some of my favorite photos of Italy (in color), and a way to access each of my two books for purchase. I will keep you informed, but until then please enjoy my shows on Youtube and this blog. Gazie mille per lettura e buona sera.